Thursday, May 1, 2014

Throwback Thursday Story Excerpt: "The Narnian Gospel Comes To Telmar"

My concept of Telmar: "Western Wild" to the west, "Archenland" to the north, and "Calormen" to the east; "Telami" is the capital province, and "Gildon" the capitol kingdom; "Maretum" is the provincial capital of Telami; the bulk of the story takes place in Nast (the tiny province)

Several years ago, I had this concept nagging at my brain when I was trying to study for my next test (the story of my life...), and it was one where a girl who was born deaf in our world travels to Narnia, where Aslan gives her the ability to speak and hear, and sends her on a mission to speak of him to those who don't know or believe in him. Of course, I knew I couldn't use Narnia itself, because there was already a whole series about it... but what other country could I use? I didn't want to make up my own country...
Prince Caspian reminded me that there was still one country that no one knew much about, which basically made it a fanfiction gold mine: Telmar. It was perfect, I could do what I wanted with it, there was an existing timeline with plenty of room for me to build characters and scenarios, without interrupting the original series in the least! 
And thus, The Telmar Trilogy was born.
Here is an excerpt from the third book, The Legacy of Telmar. 


Suddenly, amongst the pitiful lowing and bleating of the animals, Melanie heard the deep, sonorous voice that never failed to thrill her ears.

"In their ignorance, they have ceased to truly worship Me."

She looked toward the voice, on her left, but the person who seemed to speak had a cloak like hers, pulled so low she could not see his face at all. He spoke again, "You must tell them the truth about Me."

Melanie's heart jumped at this. "Me? Stand up in front of all those people? I am a stranger here, and what would I say? Besides, how can I tell the truth about you when I don't even know who you are?"

The hooded man sighed, and Melanie felt his breath, and smelled its wonderful aroma.
"Do you not, Child?"

Melanie's eyes glowed. "Aslan!" she gasped happily.

"I have given you the words to speak, Child," he said, "go quickly!"

Without a second thought, Melanie jumped to her feet right in the middle of the service.

Grammon the High Priest had been in the middle of giving some sort of oration, when a cloaked figure rose to his feet and advanced upon the pulpit.

He stopped mid-sentence, recovered his decorum, and said sanctimoniously, "What do you need, my son?"

Instead of answering, the hooded figure merely turned to the dead-silent crowd and began to speak.
"People of Nast, hear me!"

By the Lion! The voice was that a woman! Grammon stepped back and listened as she continued.

"Why do you do this? Why do you sacrifice bulls and goats to a statue? You are a faithful people indeed, but do you not know this is mockery to the one you profess to serve? Can bronze hear? Can gold breathe? Who then hears your petitions? What then breathes upon you when you ask Naslan to 'cover you with his breath'?"

Melanie pointed to the statue behind her, "You set up before you a statue of a lion, but who is to say that Naslan is a lion? What if I were to tell you that his image ought to be that of a bull? Would you still sacrifice bulls to a Bull? What if I told you he had no form at all? How can you make an image of a formless thing? Do you know him you profess to serve? No, you do not; that is why I am here, to tell you of the one whose world you live in!

"His name is Aslan, and he is the Great Lion, the High King above all High Kings, Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea! He made this world of Narnia, and he made this land, with the express intent that your ancestors—men from another world—would seek refuge here and find it. They would seek to dwell here, and find it a good land.
"Yet, even as the world stood barely formed, a Son of Adam, ancestor to the kings of Narnia, brought Evil into the new world. Since this blood of Adam runs in your veins, you too are incriminated in this ancient act. You, too, have the blood of evil in you, evil that seeks to turn away from Aslan, to rebel, to do only that which pleases itself, with no consideration for its neighbor!"

Such a murmur of conviction went up among the crowd! Grammon was stricken in his heart; never before had he heard such words! This woman seemed to be speaking the words of the Lion himself!

"Men of Nast, why do you sacrifice? Do you know? Does Aslan eat the flesh of bulls and drink the blood of goats? No! Let me tell you the meaning of the sacrifice: this evil blood that flows in your veins now is payment for a debt you owe, a debt of rebellion and lawlessness. By blood you are connected to the Curse of Separation from Aslan, and by blood also must this debt be paid, and your souls be absolved."

Melanie paused as she saw some men visiting from another province, grinning at each other and nudging each other as if to say, "Hear her put those Nasties in their place!" She pointed to them, emphasizing her next words.

"Hear me! I speak not only to Men, but also to Women, and to Children, and to every Telmarine, Archenlander, Westerner, Calormene, and Narnian who hears my voice!
"Yet even then it is not I who speak these words to you now, but it is Aslan, who desires to make himself known to you. Truly, I could not speak unless he willed it. He has sent me before you now to tell you of your guilt. How would this debt of blood you inherited from your ancestors be paid, if not with the blood of every man, woman, and child, from Telmar and the Western Wild all the way to the lands yet uncharted in the Great Eastern Sea! Tell me, how is it to be done? I say to you, even if Death came upon every living creature, man or beast, and their blood filled all the oceans and covered the land, still the debt would not be paid."

She could see the look of horror on most faces, and sought to reassure them,
"Take courage, though! For do you still not understand what I am saying? If Aslan desired blood, could he not slay us all, who are subject to him? People of Nast, it is not blood Aslan wants! He desires a relationship with us; he wants our faith, our trust, and our love.
"He does not want death! For Aslan himself, who knew no evil, who knew no guilt, who owed no debt, paid our debt with his own blood, giving his life for us all! In dying, he fulfilled Death, and Death cast him up again, and—Citizens of Nast!—Aslan LIVES!"

She stretched out her arms to the spellbound crowd, eloquently beseeching them.

"Brothers and Sisters, I call to you all! Tear down this foolish idol! (for indeed, it is foolish to worship a piece of bronze when you ought to be worshipping the Lion!) Repent of your wickedness, your cruelty, dishonesty, greed, and pride! Aslan is his own self. You do not need an image to worship him! He is worshipped when you seek to give of yourself to others in remembrance of how he gave his very life for you all! Believe his words, learn of his ways, and follow his example! Hail Aslan!"

Did you like this? Read more of the Trilogy and other fanfiction I've written at: