Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Reader's Review: "But I'm Not Depressed" by Lia Rees


Synopsis from Amazon:
Lia was a high-performing student at college in Nottingham when a random incident plunged her into a distorted, chaotic new world. Her thoughts and senses could no longer be trusted, and her intellect was gone. She found herself unemployable, drifting through life.

The lab tests, blood-work and scans found nothing, so she was given a wastebasket diagnosis: depression. Psychologists tried to manipulate her out of the “negative thinking” behind the symptoms. What negative thinking? she wondered.

Lia had to find out the truth, because nobody else would do it for her.

But I’m Not Depressed is the bleak but hopeful tale of an individual finding her way through adversity. It offers personal insight into the surreal experience of neurological dysfunction, and a spirited defense of medicine in the face of a modern cult of psychobabble.

“If I gave up searching for a cure, I would never be able to prove them wrong.”
>>>>>>>>>>

My Review:

I'll be honest, I don't read much nonfiction. It's not eye-catching or fast-paced at all, and there aren’t really created characters, a clever premise, or manufactured conflict. It took me several months to finish this book, but I am glad I did!

While there cannot be much said for how much a memoir like this "excites the imagination" the way a good fictional adventure does, the writing is no less important to consider, because if the voice is too dry, too self-absorbed, too scattered and disorganized, the reader is lost and interest wanes.
Rees describes her journey through the deterioration of her mental health, the struggles with improper diagnoses, and everything in between. She details the trauma of realizing went wrong after a "standard" medical procedure... and the subsequent search for answers, entrusting her care to professionals and experts, only to have that trust strained as the best advice she could find was not enough, or outright wrong.

If there is something I resonate with, it’s the labyrinthine complexity of the human body—how many advances medicine has made, and yet still so much we do not know. Particularly about the brain. Those who have been following my blog since the beginning know that I am no stranger to brain issues, misdiagnoses, and the disparity between what we know about the brain and how it works. The difference is that mine is largely an anatomical issue (the way my brain formed) whereas Rees had struggles more with the way her brain functioned after a near-fatal reaction of some kind. (Once again, there are hypotheses, conjectures, and inferences, but too many factors to be absolutely certain)
She outlines the fear, the pain, and the frustration of her whole experience. She finds words to describe the forgetting, the not-even-realizing-you-ever-knew, the daily rediscovery of things one encountered every day. And yet—in between the metaphors and succinct phrases is the true substance of irretrievable memories. Her words dance around the particular thing she is describing, whether a thought process or a particular experience she might have had at one point… But after all, it’s merely the outline, the echo of what once was, and the reader feels it keenly. If the brain sloughs the information off so that it cannot ever be recovered—is it still a memory? How can one thrive if the brain struggles with new stimuli every day?

And yet, she does. Rees finds a place where she can have a voice and be heard, and she steps up to advocate for others who have not come through everything as far as she has. It’s not the sort of life we’d expect someone her age to have, and it’s not quite the life she wanted for herself—but Rees displays tenacity in her perseverance, and every day is a new milestone, with new opportunities to move forward. She is injured, disintegrated, beleaguered--but she is not depressed. If anything, a reader can come away from reading her story with the realization that "depression" is an indefinite term, and that it is possible to be hurt and diminished, but also still retain the capacity for hope, and the ability to find joy and passion, and sometimes, the wherewithal to work around the malfunctions. It speaks volumes to the brain's ability to find ways of compensating for its own shortcomings.

I'd say But I'm Not Depressed earns a solid ****3.5 STAR**** rating. It is excellent for those who are interested in neuropsychology, those who have or know others who have some kind of traumatic brain injury, or those who would like to dig deeper into the topic of mental health. Rees does an excellent job of conveying her experience, and it could be worth our while to listen.


Saturday, June 19, 2021

Serial Saturday: "Clan of Outcasts" Season 3, Part 25 "Queen of Crows"



Part 25
"Queen of Crows"

Many Years Ago....

Mal surveyed the remains of the garden with a frown. The birds had taken it all--big, black crows who seemed to only desire the grubs and insects on her family's crops... who ripped and tore indeterminately in their quest to fill their bellies. Every spring, her mother said a prayer to Juros over the seeds, every spring her father would patiently water the tender shoots and scrape away the weeds so the seedlings wouldn't choke before they had a chance to flourish...
And every year, just before harvest, the crows came and devoured almost everything.

Mal shook her pale fist at the sky, wishing she could understand why her mother kept insisting on seeking out favor from a deity that apparently couldn't care less about any of them.
"Don't you see what it's done to us?" she seethed under her breath--lest anyone catch her raging at the sky. "Don't you care what these buzzards are doing?"

The only answer was the mocking croak of the distant birds--they would be back, just as soon as the garden held anything of value. A breeze curled around her shoulders, racing down her spine and making her shiver--but the skies remained silent and unmoving.

A flutter behind her prompted Mal to turn--but the only thing she saw was a grey dove sitting on a branch nearby. It cooed, tilting its head back and forth, as if to watch her. As Mal watched, a brown streak rustled by her, and a thrush landed on the branch beside the dove, trilling it's high-pitched cry. Mal held very still, as her mother taught her to do whenever nature's creatures approached. The thrush preened and ruffled its feathers right in front of her. When it twisted its head back and forth, Mal could almost sense that it might be looking right at her.

On a whim, Mal held out her hand. She had nothing to offer the bird, but at least she knew that these particular visitors were not responsible for the agricultural carnage.
The thrush's head tilted to the side, and its eye fixed directly on Mal. She held perfectly still, holding the bird's gaze... until, with a flurry of wings, it left the branch and landed on her hand. She felt its weight, the soft down of its underbelly. Mal admired the dappled brown of its coloring, the dainty narrowness of its features.

Something in the way that it settled, resting in her hand, Mal felt a connection between her psyche, and that of the bird. Mal sensed the approach of something else, and she held out her other hand. Almost immediately, a blue jay landed on her wrist, warbling happily.
Mal couldn't help herself. The bird's cheer seeped into her, overtaking her all at once. She smiled, then burst out laughing. More birds came to land on the branches, filling the air with their song. Mal sensed that the birds wanted to fly away soon, but they waited for her to release them. How did she know what wild animals were thinking?

Not just animals, Mal thought to herself. Birds.
She let the thrush fly away, and she focused on the jay.
We have an understanding, you and I, she thought, as if she could link to its mind.
The jay tilted and ducked its head, chirping softly in some kind of affirmative answer.
Do birds have a universal language to communicate with one another, like humans do? she asked the jay in her hands. If I give you a message, will you carry it to all the other birds?

The grand blue jay chirruped, only too excited to bear her message far and wide.

Tell them,
Mal thought, feeling the connection grow every minute, to leave our crops alone. The crows have been tearing apart our vegetables to get at the grubs, and this kills the plants, leaving us with no food. Tell them to leave my family's land and let our crops grow. There is plenty of food to be had elsewhere.
The jay bobbed three times, and with a high, shrill song, it fluttered into the air. At once, the swirl of birds rose into the air and dispersed.

"Sweet Justice!" gasped a voice once the last pigeon disappeared. Mal turned to see her mother standing at the door of their house, watching the sky as if she had just seen the great flock of many birds depart. She looked upon her daughter with a stunned, confused expression. "What was all that?"

Mal grinned. "It's all right, they were just birds, Mama," she said.

Her mother frowned. "Just birds, she says. Do you know what destruction these just birds have caused to our fields? Don't you know they are the reason that we might not have enough food to last the winter?"
Mal shook her head. "Don't worry, Mama--I've taken care of it." She stepped forward to take her mother's hands.

"Taken care?" Her mother squinted, her wrinkled hands clasping at the pendant hanging around her neck. "What do you mean, child? How is inviting a flock of birds down to our fields taking care of preserving the harvest?"
Mal smiled and leaned forward to whisper her secret. "I can speak to the birds, Mama--I spoke to these ones, and told them to leave our crops alone. We won't have to worry about a single bird ever again."

Her mother's eyes flew wide and her face blanched. "You... You talked to them?" She gasped. "How is this possible?"
Mal shrugged. "I don't know how it happened, it just did--"
"Well, don't do it again!" The older woman's lip trembled and her forehead knit into deep furrows. "If anybody saw you, child... You have to understand how unnatural it is... They'd send you away, just like your brother--"
"My what?" Mal's sharp ears caught the last comment, although her mother's voice had fallen considerably. "What did you say, mother?"

"I don't want to lose you, Mallory!" Her mother declared, shuffling back into the house.

Mal followed close behind. "No, not that--the other thing. Mama," she waited until she was sure she had her mother's attention. "Are you saying I used to have a brother? I thought you couldn't have any children once you had me."

"That's true," Her mother said, fussing with the mince pie she was making for supper. "You were the only child I ever bore, and I never regretted it. You have been such a comfort to me all your life. Just you, all by yourself."
"What about my brother?" Mal pressed, reluctant to touch anything until her mother explained herself.
"What brother?" Her mother responded immediately. "You sound foolish when you talk about things that don't exist, Mallory."

Mal stomped her foot on the hollow floorboards. "You just said that the village authorities sent my brother away! Why would they do such a thing?"

"They don't!" Her mother finally turned around to face her. "Do not question things you wouldn't begin to understand. Just promise me one thing, Mallory--" She took her daughter's face in her hands. "Never ever reveal this secret about the birds to anyone, and don't let anyone catch you talking to them. Promise me!"

Mallory couldn't look away from those desperate, searching eyes. "I promise, Mama."
>>>>>>


Present Day....

Queen Mallory smiled to herself as she remembered that fateful day in that little backwater village, when she found her incredible power. It took about a year for neighbors and friends to start resenting her family, as their crops grew and thrived. She had done her best, at first, to try and honor her promise to her mother and ignore the birds begging and calling for her attention; but the more birds seemed to show up whenever she was around, or herald her arrival wherever she went, the more people couldn't help but take notice--and begin teasing her.

Mallory sniffed and scowled at the recollection of those cruel taunts. It served them right, that whoever disparaged her over her avian friends would find themselves suddenly beset by angry flocks wherever they went. Anyone who called her "bird girl" or whistled at her with mockery in their expression would never know a moment's rest, as day and night birds serenaded them, or built their nests overnight in the most inconvenient places. But really--who was to blame? Surely a mere human could not have such absolute control over the wild animals! 

Then the famine hit, and the desperate woodland residents visited the farms more frequently, as less food grew in the parched soil--except on Mallory's farm, where the vegetables and crops grew unscathed. That was the last straw for many of the villagers, and they began blaming her openly for causing the famine.

She picked up a dark feather that had fallen beside her throne. That moment, when the abuse became physical and personal, was when she started calling on the crows to defend her. They were always on hand, always willing to do whatever she asked, especially when it meant causing discomfort for humans.

Her parents finally decided that perhaps it would be best for her to find a new home for herself, away from all of these mistrustful people, and Mallory marked her own departure by razing all of the viable vegetation in the entire community with the largest murder of crows anyone had ever seen.

In the process of finding a place for herself in the world, the embittered young woman learned about other humans with special abilities, called Gifts, which were said to come from Juros--and that gave her anger a new focus.
Juros, the one her mother prayed to, the one who blessed and cursed at his whim, the one who toyed with the lives of mortals, "blessing" them with such powers as they could not understand, beyond their control, and turning them against one another... All this time, she had harbored anger at her village and the ones who ran it, when in reality, there was another more worthy of her wrath. From that day forward, Mallory vowed that one day she would find a way to seek out Juros, to make him and all those who supported him pay for what he had done to her.

"Soon," she murmured to herself. "Gybralltyr will be under my command, and I will take my fight to the very gates of Justicia itself." She watched the swirling cloud of crows circling outside, and Mallory laughed.
>>>>>>>>>

The soldiers prowled the halls of the castle. They hadn't yet found whoever it was the Queen wanted to find, but at least they'd gotten the drop on the castle soldiers.

One black-garbed man had, as a crow, suffered a clipped wing. As a man, his entire left side sagged at a different angle from the rest of his body, making it quite painful and slow to walk anywhere. He'd been posted in the Great Hall, which suited him. There wasn't anyone in the Great Hall, only many doors to the various towers around the castle. He could rest his poor gimp leg and his bad shoulder at the same time.

"If only Her Ladyship saw fit to retain a healer of some kind," he muttered under his breath.

Fortune seemed inclined to hear the poor man's request, for at that very moment, a young woman in the same dark garb as the crow soldiers--but this time, a long dress matching Her Ladyship's and a billowing cloak over it all--appeared, along with a young redheaded girl in a deep-purple dress. They came from the direction of the most derelict towers. He hadn't even been aware that this wing was unlocked, much less searched by the necessary squadron.

"Halt!" The man slurred, and the cloaked woman stopped in her tracks. "Who goes there?"

The dark-haired woman glared at him--the way everyone did, given his grotesque appearance. "Handmaiden to the Queen, you numbskull," she seethed. "Her Majesty has dispatched my assistant and I to seek out an apothecary who can supply us with the necessary herbs to create a potion that would block the spells of a Mage."

The soldier squinted. He hadn't heard of any handmaidens traveling with the Queen, only soldiers like himself...
The woman's bright eyes flashed. "Is there a problem, sir?" she challenged.

Something about this woman's story wasn't adding up, but he was too busy trying to keep himself upright in her presence to figure out just what. Lucky for him, the next rotation of soldiers was on its way. He wagged his finger at the handmaiden.
"I'm afraid I can't let you through," he said. "Her Ladyship's orders were that no one gets in, and no one goes out."

The imperious gaze hardened. "So you're saying you'd rather let some latent rune-traps and portal shields lay waste to all of your brethren, than allow me to find the last ingredient I need to stop it." She sighed and wagged her head, clicking her tongue while she did so. "Poor judgment on your part. At least give me your name, soldier, so that when the pitiful forces you have trapped in the garrison do find a way to escape and humiliate your Queen, I will be able to tell her who is to blame for it."

The soldier blanched, and straightened against the wall behind him.
In response, the handmaid smiled and continued on her way.

The guards at the front gate were another story. Both of them managed to stay pretty fit, and neither found the handmaid's appearance the least bit distracting.
They crossed spears in front of her this time, and the handmaiden stepped back.
"Nobody gets in or out," barked the soldier. "Queen's orders!"

The small redheaded waif ducked behind the handmaiden with a small yelp. The handmaiden still maintained her stance. "I see," she replied dubiously. "And are you saying that Queen Mallory isn't allowed to change her mind?"

The guard exchanged a doubtful glance to his partner on the other side. "Well, no, I'm not exactly--well, but maybe we can just... I mean I would like to... Perhaps we can just verify that the Queen has sent you?" he asked in a more amiable tone.

The handmaiden's eyes glinted, and as she raised her hand, her sleeve fell away to reveal a long golden cuff with delicate chains winding around the back of her hand. These chains were set with magnificent gems of many colors. "I have a better offer," she said. "You don't hamper me... and I don't blast you to kingdom come." To emphasize her words, she flexed her fingers, and a glittering ball of pure energy hovered over the amulet.

The guard backed away. Who was he to question the Crow Queen?
The handmaiden smirked and the energy pulse dissipated. "That's what I thought," she muttered, striding on her way.

Once outside, the handmaiden didn't continue straight on to the gate. Instead, she turned aside, to a corner blocked off from the rest of the courtyard. She slumped against the wall with a sigh.

"Saints alive," said the handmaiden in quite a different voice than the one she'd used before. "I didn't think that would work."
Her assistant squinted at her. "You know, you don't look half-bad with dark hair."

The taller woman shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair, as if taking off a hood. The blackness faded to a brilliant red, revealing Lizeth underneath the manufactured disguise. Nyella did the same, turning her red locks golden-brown once more. Under her purple robe, she wore a bandolier full of vials, attached to a pouch hanging at her hip with even more equipment.

"All right... you know what to do?" Lizeth reminded her, reaching into the bag and taking out a filmy bundle of fabric that hardly seemed to hold any shape at all, flickering in and out of visibility in her hands.
Nyella nodded. "Head straight for the forest, find Warden Velora, explain the situation, and ask her to send her wolves to help us withstand the Queen's takeover."

"And above all," Lizeth finished, fastening the cloak around her shoulders, which made her figure seem to melt into the stones behind her, "Do not let yourself be seen, by people and animals alike. Use your stock of Gifts judiciously, do whatever it takes to avoid detection."

Nyella smiled and gave Lizeth a decisive nod. "Thank you for entrusting me with a job like this."
Lizeth returned a wry smile. "She's gotten the drop on us once already--we just have to do whatever it takes to reclaim the advantage and ensure that it doesn't happen to us again. We're the only hope anyone has."

Nyella wrapped herself in a similar cloak that rendered her form invisible, especially in the bright sunlight. "Good luck," she said, before disappearing completely.

Lizeth waited a good amount of time for Nyella to cross the courtyard and slip through a side door, before heading in the opposite direction, toward the garrison, where the crow soldiers had all but completely besieged Edri and Risyn with most of King Jaran's forces, cutting them off from the armory. Help was on the way.
>>>>>>>>>>


I hate this. I hate being invisible, reduced to silently drifting around, imperceptible by everyone who matters in my life. For someone Gifted with an insatiable appetite for power and attention... this is truly a most hellish torture.

I'm just glad I was able to let Beren know I still existed. I don't know how I was able to move that mop--but it made me feel better, to know that he knew, and he told the others, too.
Watching Denahlia single him out to work with her on the large statue thing worried me a little--I'll admit there is still a part of me that very much knows how much she hated the Gifted people, back when they were Outcasts, even though she was one of them... And yet, there was still something about her that wasn't quite the same as with other Gifted. Certainly my Gift never interacted with hers the same way it interacted with every other Gift I encountered.

Denahlia crouches next to a spot in the wall, where a round dial flashes brightly at me. That's my cue! I hover next to her, my state of incorporeality allowing me to reach inside and align the pins and gears correctly. As I said, I don't know how this works, but it does--as if the Key around my neck allows me to interact with the unseen side of Gybralltyr, disabling these freakish traps so that the pirates can advance closer and closer to the Gate. I can see it, already, because of how it's hidden. It glows brighter than the gauntlet of death-traps... It might be deep inside the mountain upon which Gybralltyr had been constructed, for all I know.

As the column of our enemies advances, I slip back to be next to Beren. How I want to hold him, to tell him that it's all right, that I know he can be strong for me! Oh, if only I hadn't indulged my own jealousy over all the attention Azelie received--I wouldn't be in this mess!

The tall pirate--the nice one--is walking behind him... but I can't help feeling that she's looking right at me, sometimes. It's not possible! She can't see me... no one can.

I need to hurry up ahead and get to Denahlia when she kneels once more, looking down at a series of stepping-stones that serves as the next trap. Seriously? That's the second one in these ruins! One wrong step, and the whole thing gives way--that's how they lost one of the pirates, the devious one with the long rat-tail with a pet crow that constantly followed him around. He'd stepped wrong before anyone knew how important it was to follow Denahlia--and he'd paid the price.

I can see the right path, and I can adjust the picture on the puzzle to show Denahlia the right way to go. As the last two pirates cross--the angry redheaded one that reminded me of the way Denahlia used to be, and the tall one--I reach in and shift the puzzle, springing the trap. With a snap, the four sides of a cage spring out of the ground, trapping the angry redhead on the last stepping-stone.

The pirate captain is furious, they're all shouting at each other--the feisty Elf is screaming her head off, but no one can figure out how to undo the traps, and so I've eliminated another pirate. I wonder, can I pick them off one by one in this manner? It's worth trying, as long as none of my friends get hurt.
There's one more thing I'm becoming aware of as they make their way through the city. We're being watched. I can see someone up in the cliffs overlooking the city. It looks like a man, but every time I try to push myself into the air to see, I cannot get high enough, and he disappears. I dare not leave the group for too long, anyway. Who knows what might happen to them if I allow myself to get distracted at this point?

It's probably a trick of the light. I should ignore this Mystery Man and focus on protecting my friends. After all, they are my only chance of ever regaining substance.

<><><><><><><>

<<<< Previous            Next >>>>>>

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Reader's Review: "A Maze And Grace" by Cyn Mackley


Synopsis from Amazon:

In the second book of the delightful Goode-Grace Mystery series, Deputy Bobby Grace is finally back on the farm after being deployed overseas, but it's far from the peaceful homecoming he was hoping for.

From the unexpected reappearance of the man who broke Trinity's heart, to a dead body in the corn maze, Bobby's got a lot to deal with. Thankfully, his true love, Goth chick farmer Trinity Goode, is there by his side to help untangle the mystery.
>>>>>>>>>

My Review:

Only two books in, but I can absolutely confirm that you don't need constant shenanigans, perilous car chases, or a deep-seated conspiracy triple-dipped in government-sanctioned lies and cover-ups to make a compelling and delightful story!

Mackley absolutely corners the market on a true small-town cozy mystery that keeps a steady pace without all the trimmings of a big-name thriller full of federal agents, will-they-won't-they romantic angst, or big flashy shoot-outs and car chases. She keeps it simple, populates her stories with characters who feel "real" and "average-looking", lays out the conflicts and plot twists in a tidy fashion... and in the process, allows the reader to get to know Bobby and Trinity even more, so that by the end of it the reader feels like just another resident of Himmel who is solidly on Team Goode-Grace!

I adore the variety of characters this series manages to pull together! The first book (linked below) was more of a "backwater country cult" flavor, with Trinity's "city-girl soft Goth" flair kind of clashing with it, but A Maze And Grace brings in more of that big-city vibe, introducing characters from her artist scene like Marcos--the comic-book artist and tabletop game designer who appointed Trinity his "muse" and fancies himself as "the one that got away" (I can't go into too much detail without spoiling the plot but the nerve of him! THE AUDACITY! Oooh, he made me cringe every time his name was mentioned... Such was the quality of the way his character is written!) and Stan and Shelly, the Goth couple that Trinity lived with in New York (whom I found absolutely delightful and I enjoyed every new descriptor whenever they were in a scene!) who all come to visit her in Himmel when Trinity's home becomes the scene of a crime, the victim had been a guest of hers, and everybody's a suspect--but there are definitely some whom the readers want to be suspicious of, more than others! Red herrings and mysterious clues-with-no-explanation abound--but my absolute favorite part is the way that Bobby and Trinity consistently affirm one another. They allow each other to make choices for his or her own life, or if a decision needs discussion, they discuss it--and it's so refreshing to read such a positive, healthy relationship, especially when contrasted with all the toxic drama from other characters!

A Maze And Grace earns itself a full *****5 STAR***** rating and I would add a ringing Upstream Writer Certified ABSOLUTELY RECOMMENDED. If intense thrillers and crime dramas are too much, and you find whodunnits overly complex and dated, definitely pick up a Goode-Grace Mystery and sit back and enjoy a trip to Himmel, where the cooking is fantastic, the people are wonderful, the romance is clean, and the odd crime crops up on occasion!

Further Reading: (Also By The Author/Clean Romance/Intriguing Plot)
The Goode-Grace Mysteries--Cyn Mackley
        
-American Goth 
        -A Maze And Grace (*This book)
The Painter Place Saga--Pamela Poole
        -Painter Place 
        -Hugo 
The Time Tree Chronicles--Lisa Rae Morris
        -The Emergence 
The Bhinian Empire--Miriam Forster
       -City of A Thousand Dolls 
       -Empire of Shadows
The Therian Way--Kimberly Rogers
       -Leopard's Heart 
       -Wolf's Path 
       -Tiger's Shadow
Verona: The Complete Mermaid Tales--Pauline Creeden
       -Scales 
       -Submerged 
       -Salt 
       -Surfacing 
The Alexander Legacy--Sophronia Belle Lyon
       -A Dodge, A Twist, and A Tobacconist 
       -The Pinocchio Factor

Saturday, June 5, 2021

Serial Saturday: "Clan of Outcasts" Season 3, Part 24 "The Gathering of A Murder"


Part 24
"The Gathering Of A Murder"



"Is the soup almost ready?" Damaris asked, as he finished baking the loaf in his hands, and set up the fruit salad in the large glass bowl.

Anahita waved her hand and a glob of the golden-brown liquid floated upward and landed in her spoon. She sipped daintily. "Mm, that's nice," she sighed. "Don't forget the garnish."

"I've got it," Damaris replied, giving the soup-pot an approving sniff as he ladled it full of the steaming soup. He put the lid on and carried it across the kitchen. "Let's get everything loaded onto the--Yipes!"

The soup tureen jumped out of his hands and soup sloshed into the air--but a swift flick of the wrist from Anahita and it all shifted in reverse, sloshing back into the crock without losing a single drop.

Damaris glared at the broad back blocking his path. "Hey, Bogeyman," he grunted under his breath. "Do you mind moving?"
Trev turned around, grinning as if he was only visiting with dear friends, and not placing himself right in the middle of a dinner rush with people who didn't trust him.

"Don't call him a Bogeyman," Anahita chided her friend, as she offered the speechless half-giant an orange from the fruit basket. The round citrus seemed no bigger than a crabapple in the large hand, and Trev didn't even bother peeling it, instead crunching right into the orange like an apple, and letting the juice dribble down his wrist and chin.

Damaris snorted. "Anybody who is that big and moves that quietly... It's unnatural!"
Anahita rolled her eyes as they started up the stairs to the garden gate. Supper would be outside tonight, under the clear skies--since there was no King and Queen to request their dinner in the dining hall.

"You're unnatural, phoenix-boy," she threw his own comment back at him. "We're all unnatural, thanks to the Gifts."
Damaris maintained his stance, even as Trev edged ahead of them and opened the gate in front of them.
"But Trev is strange and he doesn't have any Gift--if he did, he might have shown it to us by now."

Outside, Javira had literally grown a table and six chairs from roots she coaxed from the ground on the palace lawn. Anahita arranged the bowls and plates and utensils around the table while Damaris laid out the dishes.
"We have to be kind to him, remember? He might not know about his past, but Lizeth did say that she's concerned that torture might have been involved in the loss of his memories."

Damaris wasn't so easily swayed. "Or, that explosion in the lab that was his oldest memory could possibly have been something he caused. After all, it was Nyella with that synthetic Gift reading his mind--who knows how reliable those things are?"

Anahita lifted her chin. For someone who knew these people so much better than she did, Damaris could be remarkably jaded! "But there was the hypnosis trial that revealed he was having dreams of Angels and Shadows--those Abnormals that caused you all so much trouble when Beren returned to reclaim his throne, remember?"

Damaris heard the word Shadow and his mind wafted back to being trapped in Phoenix form, and forced by Troy to attack his friends until Erlis took him down as a dragon. "Until we can be sure about him," he said, "I don't want to trust him."

"Dinner at last!" Javira sighed, approaching the table as Damaris and Anahita finished. "I was beginning to wonder if giving the footmen a night off, and letting them just worry about keeping the castle running was at all a good idea--but you two did well for yourselves!"
Anahita grinned and took a seat. "We did well for all of us--and I'm just glad to take on the task of helping cook, especially since I know the kitchen's going to be clean by the time we finish."

Trev waited until Risyn, Lizeth, and Nyella sat down before he took the last available seat, at the end of the table.
Damaris noticed that Nyella had her hands firmly clasped in front of her, while everyone else dished food onto their plates and started eating.
He nodded to her. "Aren't you hungry?" he asked.

Nyella shrugged and rested her hand on her fist, in an attempt to appear casual without opening her hands. "Oh, I just... I might eat in a bit... Just a little dizzy from the last experiment--"

"What experiment?" Lizeth squinted shrewdly at her assistant. "We spent the last hour trying out--oh!" She gasped and immediately frowned. "Did you take that purple vial when I specifically told you not to?"
Nyella's face twisted into a grimace and she nodded miserably. "I did... I'm sorry! I regret my actions so much now!"

Lizeth cast her eyes to the heavens. "Well, you might as well let it out, so it doesn't do any damage to your system by retaining it too much."
Nyella shook her head furiously. "Oh no! Not here--I don't want to!"

The healer-turned-scientist pursed her lips. "Relax, it's not going to hurt anyone--it's just an Illusionist Gift, like Aurelle's. Her illusions couldn't hurt anyone."

"This one can!" Nyella yelped. "Watch!" She unfurled her fingers and pointed at Anahita--and the coiling black body of a snake erupted from her skin, hissing and sliding toward the girl.
Ana screamed and curled herself behind a shield of solid ice. "How could you?" she shrieked. "I hate snakes!"
"I'm sorry!" Nyella wailed. "This tincture doesn't just produce illusions out of the originator's psyche--it gives me the ability to manifest the animal that the other person fears most. I was looking at myself, and all of a sudden this enormous wolf sprang out of the corner where I was pointing at! That's when I knew I'd done something very wrong..." She began to tremble as tears formed in her eyes. "Oh no..." she whispered. "I can feel it happening again..."

Damaris chuckled. "You're terrified of wolves?" He joked. "Just wait till you meet Velora--" He stopped as the chunk of meat on his spoon shifted and flipped over--and a scorpion hovered just inches from his mouth. He screamed and backed away from the table. Javira had completely unraveled her end of the table when she saw a dozen spiders dangling from invisible webs attached to nothing, right in front of her face, and Risyn stood and began unleashing beams of energy at the owl swooping back and forth over his head. Only two people remained seated through this ordeal: Nyella, fully weeping now as she acknowledged that she was responsible for everyone freaking out and losing their dinner, and Trev, who just held his soup bowl in his hand and munched away.

"Enough!" Lizeth declared, standing in the middle of the table so she could be heard. Everyone froze and the illusions vanished. Lizeth climbed down and pointed to Nyella. "Get up," she said. "Is it finished?"
Nyella squirmed and stood from her seat, still at arm's length from Lizeth. "I can still feel it a little," she said. "I can't look at you till it's over."

At that moment, a precariously-perched plum fell off the mess on the table and rolled to the ground. Unconsciously, Nyella went to grab it--just after a particularly large hand slipped under hers. She was so surprised at the contact that she looked up into the clear, honest eyes of Trev.
Moments later, two black crows landed atop the pile of fruit, squawking loudly.

Trev's eyes darted to the birds, and fear transformed his face. With a wild cry that almost sounded like "CROW!" the half-giant stood up straight, and brought the entire table with him! Roots snapped and cracked as all four legs snapped, and dishes crashed to the ground as Trev threw the table off of him, and took off running toward the battlements that encircled all of the castle grounds.

"We need to catch him before he hurts himself!" Anahita cried, grabbing Damaris by the hand to drag him with her, while Javira and Nyella set about cleaning up the mess from the table. Lizeth just threw up her hands and withdrew back to her tower in the castle.

At the far end of the garden they found Trev, scrambling at the high stone wall, jumping as high as he could and throwing his body against it to get out, get away.

"Trev!" Anahita called, culling water from the grass beneath their feet. "Watch what I can do!"

Damaris stood back and watched as she formed a whirlpool around herself, which thinned and smoothed into a glittering ribbon as she danced, throwing up her hands into sparkling fountains in time with her twists and turns. He hadn't gotten the chance to see her actually water-dance before, but tonight he understood why she was so successful down in the Harbor, regardless of how much money her landlord stole from her in the process. Her steps were measured and accurate, and the swirling water captivated her audience. Once Trev chanced to glance in her direction, he couldn't look away. Anahita slowly led him back to the dinner party, dancing and twirling and tumbling all the way, keeping the water twisting and whirling. 

When she had neared Javira, Risyn, and Nyella standing at the repaired table, Anahita stopped and compressed the swirling, flowing water into a series of round blobs, which she tossed lightly like juggling balls. Sometimes they would hang in the air a little longer, like bubbles, but she would call them back to her hand and keep them rolling in swift and complex patterns.
"Catch!" she cried, tossing a ball to Damaris.

He opened his hands out of habit, and the resulting splash drenched his entire face. Anahita laughed--and, in a deep, rumbling stutter, Trev began to laugh too. He opened his hand and beckoned to the water-dancer. Anahita smiled and tossed him a water-ball--but instead of disintegrating on contact, the ball rested gently on his hands, the way it did hers. Trev juggled it back and forth for a while, admiring its smoothness and mimicking her movements, until he tossed it back to her. Anahita caught the ball, but let all of the water sprinkle over the grass at her feet, as she stared at Trev in astonishment.

Nyella gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth. "Did he just--" she stammered. "B-but I thought he..."
Javira frowned at an area of the table that had been severely warped by Trev's actions. "Maybe he's another water-manipulator. That Gift seems pretty common, now that we've seen two people who--unhh!" She broke off as the roots that supported the side of the table nearest her buckled, sending the entire mass sliding toward her.

Two massive hands caught the table just before it crushed her feet, and as they righted the structure, Javira saw more roots crawling and winding out of the ground to offer more support. The twisted portion of the table folded and eased itself back to the correct position. Trev knelt beside her, his eyes fixed on the table as if it had been his influence that set everything back to rights.
Behind the pair, Nyella wrung her hands and muttered, "Two Gifts?" under her breath.

Damaris slicked aside his wet hair and glanced over to the mage, Risyn. "Weren't you the one who said that he showed no signs of ever being Gifted?" he observed. "Maybe he's Gifted after all, and maybe it's some kind of nature-related Gift, that means that he manipulates water and trees--"

"No." Risyn's voice was deep and firm, and his gaze narrow as he stared at the stranger with his arms crossed in front of him. "It is not possible. He is--" He broke off mid-sentence, and Damaris saw him snatch at the air, as if plucking threads on a loom. He inhaled sharply, and turned to the young Phoenix. "We are not safe. Get everyone together."
Damaris frowned. Not safe? What could possibly go wrong with this many Gifted people in one space? "What do you mean?"
"We have a problem!" Lizeth announced from the terrace as she came to the edge of the balustrade above them. "I've just been in touch with Markus, down at the Harbor--"

"Denahlia's cousin who sent the Wyrmling with the tracker?" Damaris recognized the name as she said it.
The others began drawing nearer as Lizeth spoke, Trev's bizarre feats forgotten.

"Yes, him," Lizeth spoke tersely, punctuated by gasps as if she had run all the way there from the Science Tower, and was out of breath. "Anyway, he's tracking the pirates as well, and apparently they've made it all the way to Gybralltyr."

"They actually found it?" Javira squealed. "But then--if Zayra's with them, then all they would need is the location of the Gate, and they'd be all set to do the Crow Queen's bidding!"

Lizeth nodded. "That's the other part of the problem... A massive flock of crows is moving across the Realm, and Azelie just told me that this is a definite sign that the Crow Queen isn't far behind... if she's not here already."

As if to add validity to her words, everyone heard the sound of multiple crows croaking, and five black shapes darted across the sky, flapping noisily over the treetops of the surrounding forest.
Anahita immediately glanced to Nyella, as Trev cowered and threw his hands over his head. "Would you stop that?" she said. "I don't want to have to go chasing him again!"
Nyella shook her head. "It's not me!"
Trev began whimpering and waving his arms, beckoning to everyone at once.
"Everyone come inside the castle for safety!" Risyn announced, coming to the foot of the stairs to join Lizeth, but she was already coming down to join them.
"No, I can still hear some of his thoughts from the synthetic telepathy. He's thinking of the cave system he had down below, where he was staying before we discovered him. Everybody follow Trev--it's a safe place within the castle itself where we can hide, in case anything should happen."

"Commander approaching!" shouted a guard at the edge of the garden, and everyone turned to see Edri round the corner--with an entire unit at her heels.

She saluted to Lizeth. "I'm assuming Jaran left you more or less in charge of these ones?" she asked, refusing to look at either Javira or Risyn.
Lizeth glanced over the assortment of armed soldiers she saw. "What is this about, Commander? Are we under attack?"

Edri nodded. "Very nearly. The outermost perimeter sensors in the forest just started going off, so I'm in the process of creating defense lines around the walls and around the castle itself."
"Which ones went off?" Javira insisted, even though she wasn't intended to have any part in the conversation.

Edri frowned, but she answered anyway. "All of them," she said, her eyes traveling over the astonished group. "All at once. I have no idea who could possibly have such a force to be able to surround the castle so quickly, and we never even saw them arrive at any point on the roads--but they're here now, so you all need to find someplace secure very quickly."

Lizeth nodded to Trev. "We have a place. He'll show us."
Edri acknowledged the presence of the gigantic man for the first time. "Who's this?" she spluttered, tilting her head back to look at his face.

Risyn took the opportunity to detach himself from the group. "Commander, if I may," he said. "Korsan taught me defensive spells and trapping runes. Perhaps I could move about your postings and set up magical defenses to further fortify this space."
Edri nodded. "I think that would work well."
"Keep us safe, and we'll stay hidden for as long as we can," Lizeth promised.
"Will do," Edri responded. "Let's go!"

The four or five crows swooping in the wide sky had increased tenfold, then exponentially more than that. What was left of the golden sunset was all but lost under the mass of flapping, croaking bodies. Trev had his arms around Damaris, Anahita, and Javira, herding them like a mother hen with her chicks toward the mass of twisted vines and roots covering the base of the South Tower. Lizeth and Nyella followed close behind. Such was his desperation that he barely slacked off his pace at all, ripping the roots out of their way to create a hole big enough for everyone to crawl through. When he went, last of all, the opening he left was bigger than any of them.
Lizeth paused at the entrance. She glanced at Nyella.
"Do it," she said with a nod.

Nyella grinned and popped the cork off a vial full of silvery liquid. She downed the tincture in one gulp, and after a few moments, she raised her hands. The ground rumbled only slightly as rocks and stones rolled up to fill the gap, and the very bricks of the tower wall expanded and thickened to seal it over. When she finally released it, there wasn't a hole in the brickwork of the tower at all.
The bulk of the flock overhead had dispersed, but the ones that remained circled menacingly.

"We need to get inside," Lizeth explained to the weary Nyella. "We'll be safe in the Science Tower. This way!" The two women headed for a side door along the eastern portion of the castle, and the hallway led them directly alongside the entrance to the Science Tower.

Lizeth all but pushed Nyella through the door as more crows poured into the windows. She shut the door tightly and engaged all the locks--not just the original bolt, but the newer security technology from Denahlia as well.
"That's a lot of crows!" Nyella gasped as they waited in the darkness and listened to the chaos outside. "How is this lady so dangerous if all she has are a flock of crows?"

Lizeth gestured up the stairs, till they reached the landing just outside a room halfway up the tower. Inside was a bank of screens, courtesy of Denahlia. Lizeth pressed certain buttons in a specified sequence, and each screen flickered to life, showing different views of various rooms around the castle. Nyella perched herself in the chair beside her mentor. "Wait," she cried suddenly, as the feed cruised through the dining hall and the various private parlors. "Where did those soldiers come from?"
The two women watched as among the frenzied crows appeared soldiers in black leather, armed and running through the halls, terrorizing the poor servants who had no warning of their arrival whatsoever. Lizeth turned the view back to the front gates and doors of the castle--but they were all still very much secure, closed. "I don't know how they got in..." she trailed off as a hallway camera outside the library caught the strangest event: one moment, a crow landed on the window sill, then it shook itself, causing all its feathers to stand on end--and in the very next moment, it wasn't a crow but a man--yet another invader in black leather.

Lizeth snapped her fingers. "That's how the army surrounded the castle completely before the sensors ever knew they were coming!" she cried. "The crows are the soldiers! I guess this Crow Queen must have some kind of mystical powers, to transform soldiers into crows, or perhaps vice-versa. They fly in, get into formation, change into soldiers, and presto!" She waved her hand.
"Look at the size of that one!" Nyella cried, pointing to a giant crow the size of a hound that had just slammed through the doors of the Great Hall, with such force that they hung splintered from their hinges.

As they watched the camera footage play, the large crow gave a similar shake, as crows swirled all around it--and somewhere in the midst of all that activity, the huge crow vanished and in its place stood a tall woman with red hair and a flowing black dress.
Lizeth and Nyella stared at one another, and Lizeth broke the silence first.
"The Crow Queen," she said hollowly, "She's here."
>>>>>>>>>>>>

The doors of the throne room swept open ahead of the keen-eyed, regal woman. She glared at the passing servants, who all ducked their heads and darted away down side halls to avoid crossing her path. All around her, feathers flew and crows flapped as the transformation took hold and enlarged their bodies before peeling away the feathery exterior to reveal the armored one underneath. A squadron already flanked her path up to the White Throne. Queen Mallory smirked and settled upon it.
"All Hail The Queen!" Thundered her Captain of the Guard.
"Hail Queen Mallory!" her soldiers chorused in response.

Out in the halls, screams and shouts could be heard as the soldiers badgered the terrified servants into compliance with their wishes. And yet... The whole thing was disturbingly against what Queen Mallory expected. Where were the King and Queen, to witness her takeover? She had heard there were a handful of these Gifted ones living in the Castle--and she'd seen a few of them on Haggard's ship--but where were the rest of them?

She drummed on the throne's arm with her long, curved nails. Peering into the minds of the remaining crows, she summoned them before her. A flurry of croaking and black wings flapping, and six birds landed in front of her, turning into men before standing and bowing before her.
"Well?" She asked. "You were the scouts I sent ahead to ensure that all would be in readiness for my coming. You sent back the report that a handful of persons remained at the castle, and that the King and Queen were preoccupied elsewhere." She gripped the sides of the throne and leaned forward, hissing in a low voice, "So where are they?"

The captain opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out at first were a few squawks and moans. At last, he spoke in a human voice, "We have had the castle surrounded since that time. They must still be inside here somewhere."
Queen Mallory sat back and her eyes flashed. "Then find them! Comb this castle from top to bottom--there must not be any places to hide from me!"
The soldiers dispersed to carry out her order.

Mallory sighed and rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers, careful not to let her stylized "talons" scratch her skin.
In the silence, she heard the hissing sound. Dropping her hand and putting on a smile, Queen Mallory greeted her agent. "Ah, Kamau! Tell me some good news."

He glided forward, two glowing purple snakes draped placidly in wide coils around his neck. His chin sank into the feathered ruff around his neck as he bowed low. "I have carried out your mission. I have delivered your message to the one who failed you."

For the first time since arriving at the castle, Queen Mallory looked almost cheerful. "So he's dead?"

Kamau smiled and reached up to stroke the neck of one snake that lifted its head, almost as if the creatures made of ethereal light were real to the touch. "My snakes have done their work. Traitors to the Queen don't last long."

Mallory the Crow Queen chuckled lightly at this. "If only more people remembered that," she mused.
>>>>>>>>>>>


Velora frowned as she neared the Ranger's post at the edge of the forest near Wildhaven.

"One day on the job," she muttered under her breath. "One task entrusted to him... Just had to trust him, didn't I?"


"Something on your mind, Warden?" The kindly voice rumbled.

Velora tilted her head to regard the broad, bearded Knight guarding the gate to Wildhaven. "Hm? No, I just... You didn't happen to see the Ranger that was supposed to keep watch here, did you, Sir--" She trailed off, waiting for him to identify himself.

The old soldier bowed. "Sir Roger, Ma'am," he answered. "And, this Ranger you're looking for... I take it he's a new recruit?"

Velora nodded with a wry expression. "Very new, and I thought he could be trusted--until..." She paused mid-sentence, as her wolfish instincts told her something wasn't quite right. She whipped her head around, all her senses on high alert. Her eyes narrowed as she saw it: the toe of a boot sticking out from the bush.

"Ah-ha!" She cried, leaping toward it. Sir Roger helped her pull the boot and its owner out of the underbrush. "Looks like I found him, after all!"

Velora was ready to shake him awake, and shout at him for abandoning his post--but then she noted the greyish hue of his skin, and the way his head slumped to one side as his eyes seemed unfocused. A cold chill swept down her spine. "What's wrong with him?" She asked in a shaky voice.

Sir Roger frowned. "Looks like there's been trouble. Unfortunately, I can't tell you that I've seen anything, since by the time I came out here to relieve Sir Vann, I saw no Ranger in the area, and nothing amiss has happened on my entire watch."

Velora's lips tightened. "So... Whatever killed him... Did it a long time ago, probably right after I left..." Guilt flooded her, and she felt the lump in her chest.

Sir Roger chuckled. "Killed? No--it looks more like poison, but I think perhaps there might be life in him yet!" The old knight knelt by Raedyn's body, and he placed his hands on the man's chest, pushing hard in a rhythmic motion.

A slight vibration in her pocket distracted Velora from anxiously watching the resuscitation of Raedyn. She slipped her hand into it and grasped the talisman-stone Korsan had given her. Yes? she thought to the person with another stone trying to contact her.
Velora, it's Lizeth. I just wanted to make sure you're safe.

Safe? Velora responded in her thoughts. What do you mean? What's going on? Through the small stone, she could feel the fear radiating from the connection with Lizeth.

Queen Mallory is in the Castle, Lizeth responded. Everyone here has found places to hide, where she and her soldiers can't get to us... But, Velora--she's looking for Raedyn.

Velora heard a loud gasp, and turned to see Raedyn sit up, straight, his usual color returned to his cheeks. Somewhere in the midst of her mental conversation, Sir Roger had vanished, leaving the new guard to take up his post.
How do you know she's looking for Raedyn?

I overheard some of the soldiers talking about trying to find a man fitting his description here in the castle. They're someone else they're trying to find, too--but we're not sure which one of us it might be.

Velora helped the coughing, weakened Raedyn to his feet and asked quickly, "What happened? Why did I find you passed out in the bush over there?"

Raedyn gave several slow, squinting blinks, like a drunk being roused for the first time. "Passed... Bush--snakes?" he slurred. The word seemed to send life back into his limbs, and he stood immediately, grasping at his neck. "Snakes! They were all around me! Choking me to death--"

"Calm down," Velora grabbed him by the elbow. "Nobody's dying. What's this about snakes?"

Raedyn wouldn't look at her until he'd given the immediate area a thorough inspection. "I was standing at my post, just as you told me," he said at last, taking a seat on a nearby stone. "I was watching everything going on, and... These snakes, they came out of nowhere, choking the breath out of me before I could cry out! They wrapped all around me and dragged me into the shadows..." He shuddered.
Velora scented the brush, but she could not smell anything remotely reptilian. "Any clue as to who might have sent these snakes?" she asked.
Raedyn nodded with a hangdog expression. "I know exactly who sent them. She did. Because I failed Her."

He used pronouns, but Velora knew exactly the person he meant to indicate. "If you failed her, why would she be searching for you?"

Raedyn forgot his shame and stared at Velora with terror-wide eyes. "Searching?"

Velora nodded. "As we speak, the Crow Queen is in the White Castle, with all of her soldiers, and I've heard tell that she has her people looking for a man fitting your description, and one other." An idea occurred to her, and she reached into her pocket again to rub her talisman-stone between her fingers, expanding its connection to all the other stones.

What if the person that the Queen is searching for is Risyn? After all, if she's looking for something magical, it stands to reason she'd want a Mage, right?

Edri's voice arose in her mind, terse and breathless. Risyn has been fighting at my side ever since the Queen's forces decided to try and usurp our perimeter, and they don't seem to acknowledge him in any way that would indicate that they are interested in singling him out at all.

Velora felt Azelie's telepathy touch her thoughts--she could be a part of this silent conversation as well, even though she wasn't in the talisman network. Fighting? Oh, I just knew she would try something like this while we were gone! We should have just stayed put! Dagger or no dagger--we ought to be back in that castle!

No! Edri returned urgently. Your Majesty, at all costs do not return to the Castle! The Crow Queen is much more powerful than any of us anticipated. It would be better for you and Jaran to remain in Wildhaven, where you'll be safe among so many Gifted, and also behind the Elvish barrier. Or better yet, she added after a pause, Risyn says to try and leave The Realm altogether, if you can. You're safe as long as you remain out of her reach--we'll hold things together the best we can.

I have even better news for everyone, Azelie announced. We've found the person who might know how to help us find the Guardian of the Knight's Spirit--that enchanted dagger we were supposed to find.

The one that's strong enough to defeat the Queen Mallory's strange magics? Velora recalled hearing bits of the discussion from earlier.

The very same, Azelie confirmed. Her name is Brinley, and she knows where a portal is that could lead us straight to Gybralltyr, and to the Guardian.

Isn't that where the pirates are right now? Lizeth inserted. You're going to leave the perfectly safe haven where you are and go directly to the second-most-dangerous place you could be at this time?

Brinley knows what she's doing, Lizeth, Azelie responded patiently. We'll be able to stay hidden from the pirates as we try to find this Guardian.

Well,
Damaris suddenly spoke up for the first time. It's not a great plan--but it's not the worst one any of us has come up with, either. Best of luck to you all!

And to you as well,
Azelie replied.
<><><><><><><>

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